There are five lessons I have learnt from life I want to share with you.
Welcome happiness where you find it
in my experience happiness is both hard to define and also fleeting. You can be happy one moment and the next down in the dumps and often you don’t know why. If I had to try to define happiness for me it would be a sense of joy, or enjoy (literally means to give joy), or a sense of well-being, fulfillment or delight. Some people really hate their job. for them it is a drudge, something to be bared. I understand that not everyone can enjoy their job that is mainly due to the lack of fulfillment. Someone who does enjoy would say that the get happiness knowing that they are making a difference, or that they get a sense of fulfillment from achieving something or a job well done. we are not all the same, Thank goodness some people might say.
Where can you find happiness?
Happiness can be found in both big and small things it is just about reaching for it. After the loss off my dad I didn’t realise it but I started buying things to make me happy, but I found that happiness wasn’t real and it was fleeting. I enjoyed the purchasing experience, I enjoyed the item for a while but in the end the happiness disappeared. Buying stuff could not replace the los of my dad.
Happiness can be found in the company of my family or being with like-minded people. where we can talk, share and laugh some of the most happiest times have been with people I enjoy being with. I love parties and occasions where friends and family are present.
I find happiness in a piece of music. When I am sitting in my car stuck in a traffic jam I don’t get irate instead I put on music. My happy CD is Bangarang by Skrillex. I don’t mind how long I have to sit in a queue when I have that on. If you want to read more about my happy songs then click here and see my blog on championing new bands and singers.
I personally find happiness in the smallest things such as a warm spring day, I love those light mornings and light nights. seeing things grow, leaves on trees appear. Blossom on the cherry trees as I walk down to the office from my car.
Not needing to wear a coat if I don’t want to. You can find happiness in many things it is up to you to find what makes you happy and as long as it doesn’t make other people unhappy then go for it.
I am terrible for remembering things. My partner will often say to me things like “Do you remember we went to that little teashop?” in such a place and I will have to say no. Then she will tell me a bit more about the place we visited and I still can’t remember where it was. eventually I have to either admit I don’t remember or pretend I do. But memories are very important things that can help our lives to feel a little more complete.
When my kids were small I tried my best to create memories for them and also for myself. I would try to make things special for them. We never watched DVD’s when they were kids we had cinema at home. We would draw the curtains make fresh popcorn in the Microwave cuddle up somewhere like the sofa and watch a film. Then we would have pizza I hoped to make it an event not just a film for them and to be honest I loved it too.
I have many memories I can go back to that will either make me smile, cry or cringe. One of my funniest memories was while I was at theological college and it was just after the exams had finished. We would sometimes spend the time watching videos (remember them?). There was a few of us watching a film then one of the other students came in with his offering of wholesome entertainment, Duran Duran’s Greatest hits video! He put the film on and we were ok with it, we enjoyed some of the songs and videos we had seen on top of the pops. Then came on Girls On Film with scantily clad women wrestling in mud and sliding along a pole pillow fighting. One by one you could see students getting up and walking out in disgust. I think that a college friend and I were little braver and stayed to bitter end giggling and laughing as the student that brought the video into the college sat stoically in the room admiring the musical ability of Duran Duran and artistry of the film.
Look after your health
You can have money, property, cars and they mean nothing without health. I am not saying this because I am really healthy I am not, probably just the opposite but because I know this I can speak with authority on this. My biggest mistake is that I ignored my diet eating loads of carbs. I have driven everywhere instead of walking or taking up cycling or mild exercise. I am now type 2 diabetic (which took me a long time to accept. I know it isn’t too late to improve my health it just takes some effort. So my advice to anyone would be, eat less carbs, recently I have discovered that fat isn’t the enemy of our bodies but sugar is. I don’t mean just the white stuff you find on the shelf in the supermarket but all kinds of sugar that is found in white bread, in drinks and in our food generally that we buy off the shelf or takeaways. walk more, take exercise and hopefully as you get older you will have more energy, be a little leaner and have less problems with your joints
When I was young I had an irrational fear of crowds. I always wanted to go to concerts and gigs but I was afraid of the numbers of people who would be there. one of my biggest regrets is that I never went to see David Bowie in concert and the reason why was that I was afraid of large groups of people. I now wish I had taken the risk and gone to see him. Now I never will. Think about what stops you from doing the things that you really want to do. Is it the fear of taking a risk? often the fear is worse that actually event in fact that has been my experience and I know that everyone has an irrational fear but I know that anyone who has never taken a risk has never achieved much at all. May be you are afraid to move to a new job, a new house a new country because you are afraid of what might happen. if you take a risk you might be surprised. sometimes we have to go outside our comfort zones to achieve something.
Don’t expect too much from people
This is an important lesson to learn in life and that is people do disappoint. I have learnt not to expect too much from people as they will disappoint. We sometimes set people on a pedestal only to be let down and find that they are only human after all. be realistic in your expectation, if you know someone is always late for everything and you arrange with them to pick you up at a certain time to take you somewhere don’t expect them to be on time then because they will disappoint you. adjust your expectations and if you do really want them to give you lift then give them a realistic time to pick you up. If someone you know has the habit of borrowing something and ‘forgetting’ to give it back don’t lend to them and that will help you keep your friendship and also stop disappointment.